Why do I bother?

I write. I sit and I write: words of meaning strung together to form sentences. Paragraphs large and small. I worry over punctuation and structure. Arduous yet obligatory amounts of semicolons; much more exciting then commas.

Best selling author Dan Brown has been quoted as saying that “The first order of business everyday should be to write.” However, as for most of us; we trudge along at the toils of our day jobs without the luxury of choice. So we write when we can; when the opportunity arises. Like now. I choose to write these words now.

But why? Why do I bother? Why do I care how many spaces there should be after the end punctuation? (2 please). Oftentimes, with pen in hand, I pour through my thesorous; searching for an alternative to the perfect expression of a particular emotion needed to make my paragraph move in one direction or another.

As I’m certain you are aware, this is not an easy task. Like any other endeavor, we strive to be the best. And we often fail miserably. Then with a fresh, crisp new page – we try again and hope that one day, someone will enjoy reading what we’ve worked so hard to finish.

Currently, most of my words exist in a vacuum. My finished works go unpublished; professionally anyway. And yet I continue to write; 2, sometimes 3 thousand words a day. A number of times, the words I write end up being gibberish and I’m required to edit and mold them into a coherent and intelligent thought.

Is the end goal to simply be published? I suppose that could be true. We all want to see our stories bound together by the perfect looking cover. A book store is a writer’s dream isn’t it? And yet I wonder.

If I were to never become a published writer, would that alter my love of writing? I’m not so sure. I enjoy the stories, poems, and essays that I’ve written over the past ten years. But, like my children; I want them to do well. I want them to be successful and to accomplish great things. Though, isnt it enough that I have them all to myself?

Thank you for joining me on this miniature journey. And remember, as a writer; the struggle is part of the journey.

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